The wine isn’t even out of the bottle, and I’m whining about not being able to have it.
And that attitude of worrying about things in the future sets me up to be (pick one) disappointed, excluded, snubbed, ignored, treated badly, embarrassed, disrespected, or whatever-else-pops-into-my-head and twists my expectation to the negative.
Tonight I’m attending a fundraising wine tasting for a nonprofit where I serve on the board. If I were simply eating Paleo, I’d allow myself a glass of wine, no problem. But I’m doing Whole30, and wine isn’t allowed during this 30 days (no alcohol, no sulfites).
But this isn’t about the wine; it’s about my attitude that I’m going to be deprived, left out, or wronged somehow. I walk in with a chip on my shoulder and expect it to be knocked off. I mean, after all, there’s going to be cheese and crackers there, and I can’t have them, either. Isn’t that being deprived? Being left out? And what if I get hungry? Or thirsty? It would be horrible to have to be hungry or thirsty for the whole TWO HOUR event!
That thinking is Just Simply Stupid.
I sabotage the evening before I even have my makeup on! I get a severe case of Poor Me before I’ve stepped into the shower!
I’m not having wine, or cheese, or crackers. Cheese makes me sick, crackers make my cravings for sugar and carbs kick in, and alcohol makes me not care if I stay true to the Whole30 or not. And besides, I want to stay true to the Whole30. I want the health benefits. I want the sustained energy. None of the wine or food is worth sacrificing my choice to eat foods that make me healthier; none of the mental anguish is worth the cost of my personal power, or the cost of denying myself a perfectly pleasant evening.
And I don’t need to white-knuckle my way through the event, either.
Instead, I choose to:
- Expect that we’re going to raise a lot of money tonight for a very worthy cause (providing free legal aid to migrant farm workers and their families to get them fair wages, fair housing, and freedom from domestic abuse).
- Expect to spend the time with my friends at the organization who do this great work.
- Expect to shake hands with, and thank, the people who financially support this great work and to maybe even make a new friend.
- Expect that my presence — whether I drink water or wine, whether I eat or not — will support the cause and encourage those in the trenches.
- Expect that I’m going to have a good time. that I’m going to laugh, that I’m going to enjoy myself, that I’m going to be glad I was there.
After all, the wine hasn’t even been poured yet.